Story time : The kidnappers

Written by.......

~Tuwo Village~

“Guy abeg no finish this garri because the way you dey rush am, you

fit compete with Usain Bolt o” Mark said angrily as he picked up the

plate of garri which they were drinking and gulped it all at once.

“Chai Mark you be bastards I swear, am sure na your mama grand mama

wey been go thief meat from hunter trap nai make them curse una

generation with poverty, see as you dey rush garri like goat” John

teased him back.

“Shebi them say a friend of a thief, na thief him be? which means say

the curse dey also flow for your bloodline too, Anuofia” Mark fired

back.

“But wait o, how about the 5k wey we don get for kpon kpon work? Make

we use am start business abi how you see am?”

“Na kwili kwili business abi chewing gum business we go do, money sef

wey we use dey feed on nai you dey brag about. Them truly swear for

you” Mark replied as he got up to lick the remaining garri particles

of the plate. He believed that his tongue was greater than any sponge

in this world.

“Broooossss, I don see vision” John suddenly said and jumped up to

dance shoki startling Mark in the process who stared at him like a mad

man.

“I think say na weed dey manifest untop people, abi garri sef don dey

make person high? Wait o, shebi if person wan craze na garri them dey

soak to make am well? Now wey garri don dey make person craze that

means na sand sand nai person go chop to well abi? Bros abeg siddon

na, no allow people to begin think say na Ebola symptoms don begin o”

He warned his friend.

“Hehehe yeye boy, na new business idea wey just fling enter my head

now sef, if you know how the idea good you for just follow me dey

dance now” John replied and changed to skelewu dance steps.

“The only business wey I know wey you ever bring na that sugar cane

business wey you convince me to do, you nearly make people burn us

because them think say we be bokoharamist, abi which better idea fit

enter this your head after you don carry 51 over 50 for class since

wey you start school, infact your foolishness been too much sowtey the

pikin wey dey your headmistress belly collect the last position from

you” Mark teased him.

“Mehn na kidnapping business just enter my mind now now, na our

jackpot to success be that” John answered calmly.

“Ehhhh bros now I know say garri dey refresh person brain like how

ashawo dey change customers,  na where you keep this part of brain

since, me sef no think about this idea sef. Oboy when we go start na,

because I sure say na papa Ngozi chicken and goat you wan begin

kidnap” Mark replied.

“You too dey joke jare, I meant real kidnapping business, we go kidnap

big man children and ask for ransom” John replied seriously.

“Now I know say devil don dey use your brain play ludo, na who you wan

kidnap for this village to get money? Abi you want make them swear for

you?” Mark said angrily.

“Bros calm down, who say we go kidnap here, if say Wizkid been dey

sing for inside him room or for birthday party you think say him for

don become big musician today, mehn you gats to upgrade o, go in

search of greener pastures….”

“Ehhhh wonders shall never end, John na which time your english

teacher comot from grave wey your accent change, chai oya where we go

start our kidnapping business now?” Mark asked.

“Now you are speaking my language, na Abuja we go base, when we kidnap

one big man pikin and collect ransom then we go run go Lasgidi wether

Banky W go fit sign us for him label” John explained.

“Label ko Babel Ni? Na for otapiapia bottle nai them go feature us,

eg, we go wear big eyeglass then hold bottles of mosquito medicine dey

rap for hold up abi, na there nai we go dey do our concerts” Mark

mocked him.

“Chai na which kin goat wey I get as roommate, sha no be room mate, I

go say hut mate. But guy serious na because if I make am and you come

dey check me for house I go say make them tell you say I dey do

collabo with Tyga o” John fired back.

“Oyana nothing spoil but incase you fail, you go take the blame o”

“Eh no problem I gree but if I succed then na 70-30% we go share o, you gree?”

“Yes o, I gree, and if police catch us and jugde sentece us to like

10years imprisonment, just know say I go spend 3 years while you spend

7 years o” Mark replied.

To Be Continued…

     Story by Icekid Emmanuel